25th Sunday Ordinary Time – A September 20, 2020

https://audioboom.com/posts/7682812-25th-sunday-ot-a-september-20-2020

11th Hour Syndrome – A distinctive or characteristic pattern of behavior marked by discontent and resentment aroused by the desire for the blessings, advantages and qualities generously bestowed another (usually at the latest possible time, or the 11th hour).

PRE-STAGES:

Answered Prayer Stage. “Go and work in my vineyard!” Fortunate to have  been blessed by opportunities and chances. Not easy to wait this long. Not easy to find work. All’s well stage. Thankfully counting one’s gifts. People are good. Gratitude.

Wow stage. At the end of the day, seeing the 11th hour workers first to receive their agreed pay, say P350.00, we can imagine them saying: “Wow, super bait talaga ni Boss. Kahit isang oras lang sila nag-trabaho, may pamilya’t mga anak din naman sila.” Even more gratitude for having a Boss who is extra-generous to and sensitive to the needs of other less fortunate individuals. Admiration. Happiest.

ONSET OF SYNDROME:

Ano ito!? /What is this!? Stage. They were the happiest people in the world until the Boss gave them the P300.00 they agreed upon. They immediately lost all their joy and admiration for the goodness of the Boss.

4 SYMPTOMS OF THE 11TH HOUR SYNDROME PERSON

Marks of an unhappy person

1. Comparing 2. Complaining 3. Criticizing 4. Competing

In the end Unhappy people cannot accept the situation they are in. Hindi ko matatanggap yan! Unfair! Justice needs to be served! In reality Unhappy People exhibit Non-Self Acceptance behavior.

ADVANCED STAGE of 11th Hour Disorder

5 Symptoms of Non-Self Acceptance

1. Boasting – glorifying oneself in speech (self is norm for comparison)   -name-dropping   -basking on reflected glories

2. Rigidity – lacking in flexibility, exacting, demanding, “idealistic” kuno -Over-reaction to the wow stage: walang charity-charity. Kung meron man “structured” and “exacting” charity dapat

3. Search for superficial Joys – unhappy people run away from problems and difficulties  -bawiin ko na lang sa kain   -material things (bribe oneself or others) -resort to pseudo-religious therapy: speaking in tongues, crying marathons

4. Domineering Character   -gossiping (manipulating the lives of other) -bullying (siga-siga) and rudeness in behavior -suspicious of others (imputing bad intentions on others)

5. Inferiority Complex – is not being shy.

   – always comparing oneself to others is a sign of being extremely proud – afraid to make mistakes, kaya wag na lang aking magvolunteer, lie low lang ako, wag nalang magtaas ng kamay – may result to excessive aggressiveness through overcompensation – O.A. to make up for psychological or emotional defect.

QUICK THERAPEUTIC STEPS

♥ Count your blessings.

Counting your blessings primarily means thanking God for what, in His Wisdom and Omniscience, He has not given you.“Salamat, Lord, at hindi mo binibigay ang lahat ng aking gusto.”

♥ Let go of worries and anxieties.

Don’t quit and don’t quit counting your blessed memories. When the going gets rough, it is not easy to set one’s sights on past blessings. The immediate reaction is to focus on the issue or problem at hand. That’s okay. But don’t ease God out. Don’t give up your prayer-reflection time. Persevere during those moments of quiet when God communicates with you. With patience and perseverance, you will soon realize that what God effectively infuses in your soul are not necessarily answers and solutions to your concerns but memories and recollections of Who He has always been in your life! Learn to capture these remembering moments by making your memory space available.

♥ Be aware of the dangers of Comparisons.

Learn to lift up some of your worries. Studies indicate that the acute stress[1] impairs short-term memory, particularly verbal memory. If stress becomes chronic,[2] sufferers often lose concentration at work and home, and they may become inefficient and accident-prone. While lifting your small and big concerns to God in prayer, it may be good to seek professional assistance when worries and anxieties are bogging you down for a long time, with your short and long term memory already being affected.

Stop worrying about the potholes in the road  and enjoy the journey. -Babs Hoffman

♥ Go for contentment. Discipline of your desires and eliminate unhealthy biases.

Rabbi Schachtel says, “Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.” This makes sense! The idea, however, is not to prevent you from dreaming big. The idea is to balance your desires vis-a-vis what you already have, what you can achieve, with a recognition and acceptance of what is superfluous and unreasonable and thus deserves letting go.

Psychologists warn of “Is-this-all-there-is” syndrome, a feeling of utter discontentment left in the hearts of those who have achieved wealth, status or glory. Remember that a chronic lack of contentment driven by the need to achieve can trivialize special relationship moments. It’s like remembering your material blessings and totally ignoring the Giver. It’s being concerned about the dent in your car than the bruises obtained by your wife in that little accident.[3] Ano ka ba? Discipline and balance your desires. Desire for meaningful relationships; life is nothing but personal relationships after all. And you know what? Healthy relationships actually improve memory!

GOD BLESS YOU! ♥


[1] Acute stress, the most common form of stress, comes from demands and pressures of the recent past and anticipated demands and pressures of the near future, says the American Psychological Association. It further elaborates: “Acute stress is thrilling and exciting in small doses, but too much is exhausting. A fast run down a challenging ski slope, for example, is exhilarating early in the day. That same ski run late in the day is taxing and wearing. Skiing beyond your limits can lead to falls and broken bones. By the same token, overdoing on short-term stress can lead to psychological distress, tension headaches, upset stomach, and other symptoms.” (Source: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress-kinds.aspx)

[2] Chronic stress is the response to emotional pressure suffered for a prolonged period. It comes when a person never sees a way out of a miserable situation. It’s the stress of unrelenting demands and pressures for seemingly interminable periods of time. With no hope, the individual gives up searching for solutions.

[3] It’s really sad when your child spends more valuable “meaningful” time with his computer gadget, which he considers his best friend. A father I met even communicates more with his dog than his children! Mabuti pa raw si Brownie, binabati ni daddy ng “good morning,” says his teenage son. Sad!

A FINAL REMINDER!